I´m 14 hours into my first day quit, again and I´m having those niggling thoughts and my anxiety levels are back up. I got angry at myself earlier and the little voice inside started telling me that giving up was a bad idea and I´d be better off dead in the long run, as I don´t have a pension plan. I mean, how do you deal with your subconscious telling you oh just kill yourself, it´s for the best!
I got pretty annoyed with that little demon and decided to punish it. I drank a glass of water, chewed some cloves and started typing this blog. Still feeling a little anxious but just had a good laugh at myself as I wrote this, and the cloves worked really well. Anyone who has ever smoked a clove cigarette should definately try the chewing cloves technique. I just hope I don´t start a fight this evening with my boyfriend. He knows how difficult I am when I go cold turkey but reason kind of goes out the window when someone is determined to make your life miserable, aka, me.
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